It was the perfect, fitting ending for Trump. In order to hide from imaginary threats against him, he hid in a tiny kitchen galley, and His Corpulence got stuck, unable to eat or poop. RIP Gloop.
Aug 10, 2026
Augustus Trump Gloop,
The Nincompoop, played
Everybody for his dupe.
Ate dollar bills by the scoop,
Especially yours,
Whether or not you bought his poop.
Grifter, swindler, cheater, fraud,
Built a life on lies and gaud —
Took a bribe from the Qataris,
A jet designed by Mata Hari.
“Hurry, Hurry, I need this NOW,”
Trump Gloop said, passing methane like a cow.
“More, I want MORE,” His Corpulence whined,
Another half-billion, and his pockets were lined.
Augustus Trump couldn’t wait for the world to see,
The King’s Air Chariot, made for “Me, Me, Me!.”
But Gloop ignored what he’d been told,
And no security came with the Flying Tomb of Gold.
“Iran could shoot it down,” said Gloop’s glutinous team,
So highly overrated.
Even though they swore Iran’s forces were “obliterated.”
That’s what who stated?
“Quick! Switch the Plane! The Plane!”
Gloops goons said,
“Better that His Flatulence’s face
Be red, then dead!
Back they went to the Air Force One of Old,
Reminding us that like the Disappearing Ballroom,
And the Deflection Pool, they’d wasted so much Gold…
Or, at least, hid it into places that would hold their loot,
And the kickbacks flowing to August Trump Gloop.
And so, again, Augustus Trump Gloop,
The Nincompoop,
Played everybody for his Dupe,
Including the Press, left holding the Scoop.
Gloop went to the Galley to pick up a snack.
And sucking his gut in, slipped out the back.
But the sight of junk food in front of his face,
Had Trump Gloop drooling for one tiny taste.
He ripped open his happy meals,
Tiny fingers working hard;
And His Flatulent Corpulence
Stuffed himself with Lard.
When the Galley landed,
Gloop couldn’t get out,
With ketchup and mustard
Dripping from his snout.
The Press was a decoy,
The Plane was one too,
Only Gloop would survive
If enemy threats came true.
But in his schnorrer madness
To eat his way out first;
Augustus Trump Gloop,
Just simply, burst.